First and Second Person: I and You in Vietnamese
A practical guide to the Vietnamese words for 'I' and 'you', with examples showing how to choose the right pronoun depending on who you're talking to.
In Vietnamese, there is no single word for "I" or "you". The words you use depend on your relationship with the person you're speaking to, including your age relative to theirs and the formality of the situation.
This is one of the first things to understand when learning Vietnamese, because you use these words in every sentence.
First person: How to say "I"
The safest and most neutral word for "I" is tôi. Use it in any formal or unfamiliar situation.
| Word | Usage |
|---|---|
| tôi | formal or neutral "I"; safe to use with anyone |
| mình | casual "I" between friends or people of similar age |
| tớ | casual "I" used in Northern Vietnamese with close friends |
| tui | casual "I" used in Southern Vietnamese |
| tao | very informal "I"; only use with very close friends of the same age or younger |
Vietnamese speakers also use kinship pronouns as "I". For example, a younger person speaking to an older woman might say em (younger sibling) to refer to themselves, because that is how they position themselves in the relationship.
Example
I am learning Vietnamese.
I like coffee. (casual, between friends)
Second person: How to say "you"
The word for "you" depends on the age and gender of the person you're speaking to.
| Word | Meaning | Use for |
|---|---|---|
| bạn / cậu | friend | someone around the same age as you |
| anh | older brother | a male slightly older than you |
| chị | older sister | a female slightly older than you |
| em | younger sibling | someone younger than you |
| cô | aunt / Miss | a woman older than you, or a female teacher |
| chú | uncle | a man roughly your parents' age |
| bác | elder uncle or aunt | someone older than your parents |
| ông | grandfather | an elderly man |
| bà | grandmother | an elderly woman |
| mày | (informal) | very informal; only between very close friends of similar age |
The key is to match the kinship word to the relative age of the person you're addressing. When in doubt, use bạn for peers and anh or chị for anyone who looks slightly older than you.
Example
Where do you live? (asking a friend)
I live in Ho Chi Minh City.
Example
Are you busy today? (asking an older man)
Yes, I am quite busy today.
Pronouns mirror each other
Notice that in the second example, when the older man replies, he also refers to himself as anh (the same word the speaker used for "you"). This is natural in Vietnamese. Each person uses the pronoun that fits their role in the relationship.
A younger person talking to an older man uses anh for "you". In return, the older man uses anh for "I" and calls the younger person em for "you".
This takes time to get used to, but it becomes automatic with practice.